Hello Becomers, 

This is yet another beautiful week. How have you been? I hope you’ve been good my darlings; as always you can tell me about your week in the comment section. I have been graced and blessed this week. As I write this, there is so much that I am dealing with emotionally and mentally.

If you read my previous post here, you would possibly remember that I had mentioned my situation for a minute. Well good news/ bad news the tears finally came. The pain in my heart is unbearable, it’s like someone has driven a knife into my heart and keeps on twisting it. I have periodic bouts of long and loud wailing and crying. Knowing my love for food, I am not eating enough. Nothing tastes the same too. I woke up today and I couldn’t bring myself to make my bed just to poetically make a statement how my life felt at the moment.

All this pain is due to the loss of something that I held so dear. In my mind I always thought that I would never have to live without it but I guess that wasn’t God’s plan for me. At some point I had to choose between God and this thing. After trying to practice a bit of syncretism, compromise and giving excuses; I got tired of being so double standard. It was either I risk losing this thing and follow God’s perfect will for me or  keep this thing and not follow God’s perfect will for me. Eventually I went with God’s perfect will.

Why did I chose this path?

Well despite the many days if self-criticism and self-judgement (oh the pain of a hypocrite) #chronicles of hypocrisy; I realized that I could trust God to give me this thing but this thing could never lead to God. I realized that He is all powerful and that if I took His side I would definitely get my thing back or even something better than my thing. And so I took a dive because I know exactly who I am living for; God my creator. He is going to restore me.

Jeremiah 30:17

But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds declares The Lord because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.

Joel 2:25

I will give back what you lost in the years when swarms of locusts ate your crops. It was I who sent this army against you. Now you will have plenty to eat and be satisfied. You will praise the Lord your God who has done wonderful things for you. My people will never be despised again.

My darlings this situation has been on my mind for so long. It was even the inspiration behind the Blueprint. I was trying to convince myself to give God full control if my life. I am very excited (screams) about what God is going to with me now that I have given Him all of me. My darling, you better stick around to hear me testify!!!! Hey!!! You better!!

Well I won’t lie that it’s not painful right now, it’s very painful but every tear and hurt will be paid back with a lot of blessings and I am anticipating for the great things that He is going to do. I am also grateful for His manifestation in my life. I feel like He prepared me for this. He first led to study self-worth and then when it rained I wrote  about the beauty of the storm due to the sunlight that comes after it. My God is indeed wonderful. He is doing something good behind the curtains and I can’t wait!!! (Screams)

So my darling are you on the fence? Are you being lukewarm? Are you stuck in the middle? Are you at crossroads? Time has come, you have to choose a side and I hope you choose the best. You can tell me about your struggles on the comment section or if you want to get more private, my email inbox is waiting eagerly for you;

Also please let me know if you love the poem I Incorporated.

With love and flowers


Facebook: Jackline Njagi

Twitter: @jackiemay1998

Instagram: emerald_mmay


45 thoughts on “TRUST HIM

  1. Hey girl. Your post reminded me of the beginnings of my Christian faith. I was not born or raised in a Christian family, so I had to leave a lot to proclaim my faith. That verse was the one verse I had to stand on to trust God. That He will give back what I lost. Thank you for this reminder.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anytime your “thing” distracts you and takes you away from God’s perfect will it is not of Him. Good for you for realizing that and putting your trust and courage in our loving Father! God Bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It hurts…when we have to hand over something to God we want to keep. I’m there right now. But I have to give it or it will destroy the good he has for me. Thank you that even in your pain and struggle you choose to encourage others. Blessings

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glory be to God. He has given me strength in my pain and struggle. I am learning to rejoice in my pain and trust that God will do great things. And I know that He will indeed do great things. May God give you strength and joy as surrender to Him


  4. All the Christians who have the deepest, most beautiful walks with the Lord came to a point in their lives where they had to give up the most important thing to them, even if it was not a bad thing. God wants first place in out hearts and will never fully set us free until we relinquish all.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My family and I recenlty went through a difficult time. My oldest daughter delivered our first grandaughter Emily Grace who was stillborn. She was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, at about 13 weeks of pregnancy. My daughter made the decision to continue with her pregnancy knowing that her baby girl would not be alive at birth, and if she did it would be only for a few hours. She chose to trust God and allow His will to be done.And He in turn gave the the daily strength, courage, and peace that would be needed. She was able to enjoy her pregnancy and carry her daughter to full term a miracle in itself. God has shown His love, faithfulness, and goodness. we are beyond blessed!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think that even if you are not religious, believing in something is very important. It brings hope. Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring others. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You have a beautiful style of writing. I agree with Carolina above, that believing in something is so important, especially when you’re looking for guidance of some sort. I hope happier times are around the corner for you x

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s